Staring at the Wall for Hours

It was all lovely in the beginning for the pastor's wife. Everything seemed perfect. Then subtle hints began to surface in her marriage, hints that would become more evident with time. That was until time revealed her husband's true colors and real intents, especially after their marriage. As the pastor's wife, she covered him. She prayed through it. She even loved unconditionally through it. All of this was to no avail and led to no true repentance on the pastor's part. Soon it was realized that her pearls were being tossed before swine. She soon realized that she had been deceived but not only her; the whole church congregation and leadership had been deceived. She knew this as truth. She lived with the liar, the one who created the lies to cover himself and deceitfully destroy the one who was covering him.

Carrying the shame and ridicule of a vicious lie, the pastor's wife was left alone, shattered, and bewildered. The pain, pressure, and plight of being ostracized by the church she labored in and its members she loved, prayed with, and prayed for was uncanny. The dirty looks for no reason, the church politics, and, most of all, the lies of her spouse, the pastor, threw her under the bus and crushed her. Questions poured out of her heart as she could not find any reasoning for the pure disgust that was being poured on her like gasoline, igniting a horror of intent to burn her alive. Deliberate, strategic lies circulated not only in the church but also in the small community where the church is located.

Have you been there? Are you there now? I pray you never go there. Prayerfully, this written account of a torn heart will keep you safe and keep your heart from such grief. Experience the shameful hurt she endured, the loneliness she encountered, and the grief that tried to end her life. Experience the reasons she, the pastor's wife, stared at the wall for hours with tears flowing.