Helped

Ike Harper's latest scrape in Piperock begins with a hypnotist's pose, a clout to the head, and a horse doctor's mock-serious diagnosis, but the real joke soon emerges: his partner Magpie Simpkins has joined the secretive Loyal Legion of Lizards, a grandly named lodge promising easy money, funeral benefits, and a way to turn townsmen into paying members. As Magpie and Scenery Sims push their scheme, Ike watches the town's usual blend of gunfire, boasting, and civic absurdity collide with the Legion's ceremonial nonsense. When he is unexpectedly drafted as deputy, he finds himself pulled deeper into the chaos. What follows is a wickedly funny frontier hustle in which Ike tries to sell life insurance to men already trying to kill one another, pitching burial funds as both revenge and practical planning. Amid bullets, insults, medical inspections, ridiculous anthems, and brutal initiation pranks, the Legion's grand pretensions collapse into slapstick. A goat, a window, and a missing charter bring the whole enterprise down, leaving Ike with profits, danger, and the sharp comic irony of having monetized death in the most dangerous town on the frontier. This edition has been fully restored with modern typesetting, custom cover design.